Ruling with a Sequined Fist: The Gay Handbook

Trade, or sometimes rough trade, are men who have sex with men, but don’t identify as gay. They come in two major forms: straight guys who associate with gay men and have sex with them, but don’t identify as gay and straight guys who won’t even speak a word to a gay man, but will sleep with one when sufficiently desperate or in the mood for something different—a little scruff against his balls, perhaps. Although trade could easily be confused for closet cases, the two are not the same.

A closet case is a guy who will deny vehemently that he’s gay and if he has a moment of weakness where he actually beds a gay guy will often freak out immediately afterwards. Conversely, trade will enjoy the act, enjoy the person, and might even acknowledge his trick’s existence afterwards. He just won’t internalize homosexuality.

The sociological notion of situational homosexuality explains this behavior rather well. Situational homosexuality is when a guy engages in gay acts because there aren’t any available women. Examples of this would be prison, the armed services, fraternities, or students at all-male boarding schools. Odd though it may seem, many of these same venues produce varied pornographic fantasies with merit—if you are in jail, a frat, or the military you’ll probably have a dude sucking your dick at some point or another.

It is important to know the difference between trade and rough trade. Run-of-the-mill trade is any dude who engages in male-male play. Rough trade, on the other hand, is a working-class guy who seems like he might become violent at any time. If you have fantasies involving the phrase “suck my dick, faggot” you’re thinking of rough trade. Though idealized working-class rough trade fantasies are healthy and fun, there is a serious chance that plying your trade may result in serious injury.

And for filth’s sake, don’t try and date trade–they are meant to be sexual partners and are not emotionally available for male-male dating. Although, if you’re sucking dick behind a dumpster you already know that.

The Gay Social Spectrum: Bears

by sequinedfist on May 4, 2010

Bears are hefty, hairy, oft-bearded gay men who revel in the tropes of working class masculinity and stand at the opposite end of the spectrum from twinks. Bears are often fat and hairy, but that belies the reason they band together. You see, when bears were younger they were often still fat and/or hairy. At the time, however, their peers were still lithe and smooth. They found that they lived entirely outside the confines of what gays stereotypically consider “attractive.” As they grew older these feelings amplified. They were attractive and they knew it! So they formed their own community.

Bear culture is said to be founded from leather culture. During the heyday of the hanky code people started putting little teddy bears where they would normally indicate their love of fisting or shrimping. It became quickly apparent that there was a whole subculture ready to explode. Soon after, The Lonestar Saloon opened in San Francisco, some bear publications started, and the scene took off. It took time to evolve into the butch drag it is now, of course, but extra weight and hearty body hair were included from the beginning. Grr.

The prevalent bear image is heavily informed by contemporary ideals of “normal” masculinity and, if a bear does his job right, he is entirely indistinguishable from his middle-aged heterosexual counterpart aside from his superior taste. Looking and acting masculine is an integral part of bear culture and it is taken quite seriously. Bears are normal guys who just happen to, ya know, suck cock. Their presentation, while seemingly heteronormative, is in actuality fairly subversive. For one, they eroticize hair, fat, and middle age—all serious no-nos in youth-obsessed gay culture. In addition, they act out against the cultural perception that all gay men are feminine. Peter Hennen, author of Faeries, Bears, and Leathermen, goes further and argues that bears essentially divorce femininity from homosexuality.

By now, bear culture has evolved its own massive party circuit with events at every gay vacation town and each year the events look more like a fatter, hairier, circuit party. Minus the K. They also have local chapters in most urban areas, though they’d rather be in the forest to be sure.

Kevin Smith talks about bears

The Bear Song by Pixie Herculon